Taking A Ride

You ever play the boardgame "Chutes and Ladders?" Seems like mostly chutes anymore.

Where to begin? We were robbed Monday night/Tuesday morning. Sometime between 3 and 7. They broke in through a basement window and came into our apartment as we slept. None of my stuff was stolen, but Dan had a bunch of his shit taken. I'm still pissed. I guess the cops are "close" to making an arrest, but I don't believe anything until I see it. Hope is a waste of time and energy, and usually it only sets you up for more of a disappointment. I told my dad about it, and for him not to tell anyone, because I didn't want people worrying about me. So he tells my mom's daughter and now it seems everyone knows. I'm pissed. I don't lie, but made an exception to lie to my mom about this, and she caught me and I felt dumb. There's a lot more to this and I don't feel like writing it out, but it all made me very angry.

Student teaching is going well. The lack of sleep and food, along with being around all of those kids, has gotten me sick. I feel like all I do is go to the school, then either work or make lesson plans. I don't have a social life and I have few people to try and even make one with. I don't even have time for the gym at this point. As far as trying to find a girl, that seems rather futile at this point. Worst case scenario I try and fail, or try, succeed, then have it fail. Best case is I find someone who means a lot to me, then in a few months I'd have to either stay up here, or go back to Endicott and most likely lose them. I guess I should get used to only getting affection from Dan playing with my ear and my manager giving me a "good game" ass smack. I've already gone back to not talking about things that bother me, so that's one less thing I miss about having a girlfriend, even though I always did a lot more listening than talking. Whatever, this is depressing. Maybe I should forget all of my convictions and just fuck a drunk girl. I seem to be a dying breed, maybe I should let myself go extinct. Maybe I should just take a Prozac and get over it.


Now on to something a little more fun. People often comment on or ask me about "what makes you tick?" Or what I think about? Or what goes on in me head? Here I try to shed a little light on it.
First, check out this webpage: www.thepictureofeverything.com

That is similar to what I see when I close my eyes. That or naked women with balloons. Look at that thing. Freakazoid made it!! That's a big part of my head.

Lots of different ideas and things pop into my head at any given moment. For example, today as I was walking around work the following thought popped into my head, "I'd rather be self-deprecating, than self-defecating." Out of nowhere. I don't think that happens to a lot of other people.

When you are talking to me, I look like I am listen, but I'm not. I don't care about anything that comes out of your mouth. I'm just waiting for my turn to speak, so I can say something worthwhile. You bore me.

Hope that helps answer some of your questions about me.



Random:

For anyone who was/is wondering, I'm not really on Prozac.