"I Don't Know, Faggot"

Well I made it back to Buffalo safely. Man does it suck. Leaving Florida and driving into Buffalo as it was snowing was like "going from color t.v. to black and white."

Here is a recap of things that I remember from our crazy ass trip to Florida. Enjoy.

In the car stuff:
-Jeff sticks his head out the back window to feel the wind in his face. Kris sticks out his head, looks at Jeff and spits right in his face.
-Jerky farts.
-"Road Warriors! Unite!" at the rest area.
-Kris after finally going to the bathroom, "Ah, my balls feel so much better." "Uh, Kris, urine isn't stored in the balls."
-"Shut the fuck up Kris!" "Shut the fuck up Matt!" "Shut the fuck up Jeff!" "Shut the fuck up Kyle!"
-We picked up this woman who ran out of gas and took her to get some and then back to her car. In the process of me asking her questions, we find out that her family consists of, "my boyfriend, his wife, and their kid." They all live together and apparently drive together.
-Kris and I sitting in the backseat playing "Grab Ass" as I like to call it.
-After listening to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" Kris still didn't want me pouring my sugar all over his face.
-Making fun of people from High school as we drove around.
-Cranking the radio and dancing for the passengers in the other cars.
-Kris "What are you reading about?"
Me "The history of the bra."
Kris "What's that?"
Me "The history of the Bra"
Kris "Who were they?"
Me "It's about the history of the bra."
Kris "What did they do?"
Me "The history of the female bra...the one they wear."
Kris "Ohhh"

The temperature at the beaches always being upper 80s lower 90s.

I bought the first two episodes of Star Wars on DVD and the gay guy at Best Buy totally hitting on me.

The 16 year old girl with braces hitting on me as I tried to mack it to the older, hotter girl.

The fact that those were the only two people to show any interest in me.

I asked this guy for directions to this club and he was a Neo-Nazi/Skinhead and most likely thought I was his "Aryan Brother"

When we got to this club, for Jeff's Birthday, the cover for under 21 was 20 bucks!! And it was a strip-club...only a little nicer than Pleasure and Passions, if you can believe that. Actually it is probably in-between Pleasure and Passions and Tzer's (which coincidently are the only strip clubs I have ever been to). All the strippers were drunk and smoking...cigarettes that is. Then they played "Putting for Pussy." You wadded up a dollar bill and tried to throw it into an empty pitcher. If you made it, you then tried to putt a golfball into a whiskey glass convienantly placed in front of a woman's vagina as she sat spread eagle. If you were able to do this Adult Double Dare task you won a trip to Cancun. None of us won, unfortuntely. It was a pretty crazy night. Originally we were going to go to a regular dance club because they were having a "wet peck" and male "best ass" contest for the ladies. For some reason that sounded like fun to us. Sadly though, it was 21 and older, so J-Hog couldn't get in. That's when we decided to go to this other club (which we didn't know was a strip club) to see the "best girl on girl kiss." This event never took place, and we drove 2 hours round trip to see it.

We ate a whole pan of lasagna in one sitting.

"Who is this guy?"

"What's this guy talking about?"

We saw an old man at the beach sunbathing, in a thong. It was gross because for a split second we all thought it was a topless chick wearing a thong, but it was really a hairless old man.

Matt got "hit 0n" by a bartender, so we ordered a pizza. (I know that doesn't make any sense)

Said pizza was disgusting.

When it rained, it only rained for like 20 minutes and then turned beautiful again.

Body surfing is fun, but can be painful.

Sunburns are sucky.

Fuck Buffalo and snow.

Passing the sewage treatment plant on the way to the beach was lame.

We all bought matching sunglasses and they are awesome.

Lotioning one another up, because let's face it, no one else would have.


We played a TON of Mario Golf and Mario Kart.


Well that's all I can remember for right now. Guys, feel free to leave comments adding to this list.


Time to get back into the real world.

Random:

My vacation was random enough.