So I Got That Going For Me

Life is good:

I haven't had a phone in weeks, which is totally awesome. I need to talk to my dad about a bunch of important things, but can't. Our bathroom light switch is busted but I can't call the landlord (it'll be interesting if I need to shave before it gets fixed). I need to get a job but I don't want to sumbit applications when hopeful employers can't call me for interviews. If I got up the nerve to ask a girl out, what am I supposed to tell her in terms of reaching me? That'll look real good. "I can't call you and you can't call me...also, I can't pick you up if it rains because my car's windshield wipers are busted." Yeah, like I don't have enough strikes against me already.

I love being me.

I have one paper left to go, which I will do tonight. Then I have three more days of classes. One take-home test and three in-class tests. Then it will be summer and I can nuts. (I don't know what that means exactly).

Today at the gym I thought this girl was checking me out...then I realized she was just looking at the TV behind me. Pretty awesome.

Last Thursday Matt, Dan and I went to this Guido Feinberg bar downtown. It was supposed to be a "sports bar" but it was definitely just a trendy ass place so we left after a beer each (although this place has a comedy cub attached to it, so I will go back to check that out). Then the three of us hit up Hollywood Video (one of the places I am going to apply to) and rented Caddyshack. Then we got some beer and made a big gay night of it. How gay? Let's just say that Matt is the last person to have touched my dick (there was a layer of boxers and denim between is actual hand and my actual wiener, just so you know). The three of us probably shouldn't drink together because something like that always seems to happen.

Friday Dan had a date...with a girl!! Matt and I went to Greg's apartment, which is really nice. We hung out, drank some beers, and watched a lot of that show "Amazing Shozan" or something like that. It's pretty damn hilarious. It was a good time.

Saturday I stayed in and did homework. Ok, I didn't do any homework, I just stayed in. Happy?

Last night was awesome. Two new Simpsons, both hilarious. The new Family Guy season started. It was funny. I really liked the beginning where Peter listed off all the cancelled Fox shows that came out after Family Guy went off the air. Real funny. I tried giving American Dad a second chance, but it didn't deserve it. It was bad. The show is no good. It does not get my stamp of approval. Do not watch it. It is not funny. Spend your time doing something else.
A new Robot Chicken was on too. Good show. Funny and nostalgic.

Did you see the Pope left me a comment on my last update?! Pretty neat.

Tom and I initially chalked up our luck with the ladies to back hair...now we think it may be bad jokes. I'm not really sure. Discuss.

I got three new PEZ dispensers: Darth Vader, R2-D2, and the updated Chewbacca. Very kick ass.

I'm thinking of making a whole new wardrobe. I need roughly 14 t-shirts. No logos and an assortment of colors. Then I need a whole bunch of iron-on letters. Then I need an iron. I will then make shirts that say "Single and Shy." This way if a girl is liking what she is seeing, she'll know where I'm at. Then she can make the first move. Now I know what you are thinking. "Kyle this is pathetic...even for you." Well, that may be true, but if the "Single and Shy" shirt fits, wear it.

Tomorrow and Thursday a lot of Social Studies people are going out to Coles. I'm not sure if I'm going tomorrow but I'll definitely be out Thursday. The only bad thing about that is that it will be Cinco De Mayo, so a lot of douchebags will probably be out too.

Random:

Here is a paraphrased extraction from a conversation Cool Tom and I had last night:

Tom: My sex life is like a game of Clue. Who did it? In what room? With what weapon?

Kyle: My sex life is like a game of solitaire.

Other possible punchlines I could have given:

My sex life is like a game of Chess...I've never been very good at Chess.
My sex life is like a game of Sorry...no real explanation needed.
My sex life is like a game of Monopoly...I always get screwed in the end.

I'm glad I went with the solitaire one...these ones are duds.