I Hope You Get Hit By A Bus
I almost got hit by a car yesterday. I was crossing the street, having the right of way, and this old woman was turning right on red. She was looking to the left to make sure no cars were coming, but wasn't looking where she was going. I saw her speeding up so I ran out of the way. Crazy old woman. But the craziest thing is even though I was about to die, I didn't see my life flash before my eyes, which leads me to believe I live a sad life and nothing worth being flashed before my eyes. Of course Dan made the good point that maybe I actually wasn't going to die, so of course nothing would flash before my eyes.
Besides watching the new episodes of the Simpsons, you should watch:
Arrested Development
The Venture Bros.
The Biggest Loser (laughing at fat people crying is amusing to me. I'm sure I'm going to Hell for that)
My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss (laughing at greedy people making asses of themselves is amusing to me)
Here are some theories to why no one I used to talk to talks to me anymore and why no new people want to be my friend:
-I don't have a cell phone. I used to think that I didn't need a cell phone because no one calls me, ever. But now I think I get it. If I had a cell phone then other people who have cell phones would want my number, and would call me the second they got out of classes, or as they were walking, or at their computer, or as they watched tv, etc. I've been thinking backwards about it all this time.
-I don't do drugs. I think a lot of people think I'm lame because I don't do drugs, so they, over time, stopped wanting me around. Sorry.
-I make them feel bad about themselves because I am so damn cool and being around me reminds them of how lame they are.
-They are like me and wait for the other person to talk to them because they are not sure if that person wants to talk to them. So here we are both waiting on the other one to make the first move. I blocked all the people I don't want to talk to online, so if you can still see my screen name to see this link, that means I want to talk to you.
-We just grew apart naturally and there are no bad feelings.
-I've become a hermit and seem uninviting.
My man Matt "I can eat a whole garbage plate, but then doesn't" Lea just made a Blog, so bookmark that and check it out:
http://mattlea.blogspot.com
Also, don't forget about Dan "I get love from a Man" Szweda's:
http://szweda.blogspot.com
Now we just need Hontz to grow some balls and make one.
I've been giving lots of reports and doing lots of papers which mean it must be getting towards the end of the semester. So crazy. Only one more semester and I'll be student teaching.
Random:
Brown Dick
Want a pizza party!! Right Now!!!

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