Broke Phi Broke

A couple updates and one of those long quiz/profile things.

I got third place in an essay writing contest. So that's cool. It was national and I will read my paper at the national conference held in Buffalo next week and do some Q and A. Should be interesting. I've been a part of only a few Q and A's, so I look forward to it. I don't know how much money I will get, but I get a check at an award ceremony...I think they have an award ceremony. I know there is a banquet and other fancy things going on. I hope it is a giant novelty check, because I have always wanted one.


Student teaching continues to go well. My supervisor came in and gave me a good evaluation, so that was good. My host teacher likes me, so that is good also. I'm looking to be in good shape.


My mom was on the verge of getting a dog, again. Thank God she took this one back too. What's with people trying to fill a void with an animal? Shit, that reminds me, I gotta water my plant!


That's about it, now here is the quiz:



[Section 1 - Basics]
Name: Kyle D. Wolf
Age: 22
Gender: Man
Height: 6' 3"
Weight: 205
Ring size: I'm a dude, I don't know shit like that.
Pants size: 36, I think. Too lazy to take them off and check.
Shirt size: Large
Shoe size: 13 or so.
Piercings: Yeah.
Tatoos: Not at the moment.
Hair color: Brown.
Hair length: Short.
Eye color: Brown
Zodiac sign: Who cares?
Chinese zodiac sign: Who cares?
Body type/size: Tall and husky? I don't know, I have a really big rib cage.
Birthday: 5-27-83
Birthplace: Not sure.
Place now: The Slums.
Race/ethnicity: Mix. Mostly German. "Purebred mutt"
School and grade/year: Buff State - Student Teaching
Natural hair color: Brown
GPA: 3.5 or so.
Blood type: No clue.
Hobbies: Music, Movies, TV, Writing. That's about it.
I.Q.: No clue, but I am the smartest man in the world. Yes, the whole world.
Do you excercise: Yes.
Are you healthy: I believe so.
Fun?: Not at all. I'm very boring.
Serious?: When I need to be.
Sarcastic?: Umm, yes.
Funny?: Hilarious. I'm a laugh storm.
Cute?: Funk dat.
Pretty?: Funk dat.
Good-looking?: Nope.
Beautiful?: Nope.
Optimistic?: Nope. Realistic.
Smart?: Smart enough to know I already answered that.
Oppinionated?: Yes.
Outgoing?: All depends.
Shy?: If I am interested in you, probably.
Unique?: I imagine most people who know me would call me "unique"
Sweet?: No, very bitter. Some call me "grumpy"-not after the Dwarf.
Hyper?: I've calmed down. But if I get drunk, then yes.
Talkative?: Yes.
Creative?: I like to think so.
Imaginative?: Yes.
Gloomy?: Can be.
Happy?: Can be.
Depressed?: What? Right this moment? No.
Silly?: Definitely.
Loud?: Yes.
Quiet?: No.
Dependant?: I don't think so.
Loyal?: To people who are worth it.
Truthful?: Always.
Clever?: Yes.
Confident?: In most respects.
Annoying?: Not at all.
Artistic?: Not really. Average maybe.
Musical?: Just freestyling.
Poetic?: I've been known to turn out a gold nugget every once in a while.
Charming?: To old women, yes.
Wise?: For my age, yes.
Special?: Yes.
Magickal?: No.
Sensitive?: I'm a hollow shell of the man I used to be.
Lustful?: Can be.
Sexy?: It's been said. Mostly by family members.
Horny?: Unapologetically.
Loving?: Give more than I get.
Lazy?: Can't afford to be.
Stylish?: T-Shirt and jeans. You be the judge.
Normal?: Enough.
Psycho?: No.
Goofy?: Yeah.
Brave?: Definitely.
[Section 2 - This or that about you]
Righty/lefty/either: Right handed.
Glasses/contacts/none: Glasses or a contact. Yes, just one.
Punk/goth/prep/thug/??: Punk, with thug tendencies.
Innie/outie: Freakishly born without a belly button. I know, how did I fed?
Tan/pale/average/??: More on the tan side.
Freckles/none: Nah.
[Section 3 - Family]
Mom's name: Jennifer
Dad's name: Doug
Siblings/their names/their ages: My Mom's Daughter 18, Molly 11.
Dead family members: Yeah, generations of them.
Do you live with your siblings?: No.
Parents married/divorced/neither?: Divorced.
Parents together/separated/dating/none?: Dad on his third wife, mom never remarried.
Do you have any stepparents?: Yes.
Ex-stepparents?: Yes, it's one of those things.
Do you have any children of your own?: Probably somewhere out there.
If so, what are their names and ages? If not, do you want any?: Steve Holt?
[Section 4 - Favorites]
Color: Black and Blue.
Food: All of it.
Drink: Water.
Candy: Chocolate.
Flavor: Dick.
Movie: This is Spinal Tap.
Band: No idea. Too many.
Show: Simpsons.
Game: Tony Hawk
Element: Darmstadtium is underrated.
Music type: Anything I can bang/bob my head to.
Actor: That's a tough one. Steve Martin? I have no idea.
Actress: Natalie Portman
Month: December, I guess.
Season: Summer.
Holiday: Christmas.
Shampoo/conditioner: Not applicable.
Song: Kanye West "Gold Digger" at the moment. And Mama Cass "Make Your Own Kind of Music"
Number: 80085
Phrase: I'm probably most well-known for "Jeepers Creepers" and "Jiminy Crickets"
Word: Honeydew.
Magazine: AP
Restaurant: Kampai
Sport: Snowboarding
Animal: Wolf.
Language: Proper English.
Girl's name: Emma.
Boy's name: Kyle is bitch'n.
Flower: I like girls.
Country: America.
Weather: Sunny with a nice breeze to walk in.
Person: Myself.
[Section 5 - Sex]
Sexual orientation: Sure, I'd have sex with a Chinese girl.
Are you a virgin?: No.
Do you like to have sex?: Love it.
Do you like to have oral sex?: Love getting and giving.
Do you like to have anal sex?: It feels weird at first, but then you get used to it.
Do you like to give more or get more?: I like to give her the bizzness.
Do you usually give more or get more?: I like to think it is equal.
Does size matter?: A big ass is preferred.
Do you like to kiss?: Yes.
French kiss?: Wanna know something embarassing? I'm still not exactly sure what that is.
Make out?: Yes.
Favorite position: Whatever maximizes my ass grabbing ability.
Are you more dominant?: I guess so.
Or more submissive?: Haven't been.
Are you more sadistic?: No.
Or more masochistic?: No.
Do you like to use toys?: I'd like to use handcuffs.
Cuffs?: Well there ya go.
Bondage?: No.
Wax?: Fuck that, cuz they'd try to pour it on my nipples, and Da Wolfman ain't havin' dat.
Clothes pins/ clamps?: What? Fuck no.
Chains?: No.
Gags?: Sometimes she might need one or she might wake the neighbors. Booyah!
Collars?: No.
Leashes?: What, am I fucking a dog?
Whips?: No.
Paddles?: Yes.
Other things?: Nothing I can think of now.
Do you look at porn?: Sure do.
Do you masturbate?: I do have a penis.
[Section 6 - Friends]
Would you consider yourself a good friend? Definitely.
Would you rather have a lot of friends or a few good friends?: A few good ones, which I do.
Who is your best friend?: I honestly don't believe in having one.
Do you have a lot of friends?: No.
How many good friends would you say you had?: Have I had in my life? Over 100.
Are you a good friend?: The best.
Has anyone ever told you that you were a good friend?: Yes.
Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad friend?: No.
Do you tend to be more outgoing or shy?: With my friends I am outgoing.
Do you consider yourself to be better than your friends?: Yes, because I am. But seriously, no.
Do you consider you and your friends to be better than everyone else?: Not everyone, but a lot better than all the douchebags out there.
Do you think your friends ever get tired of you?: That would explain a lot.
Do you ever get tired of your friends?: No.
Do you like to make new friends?: If they are cool and have lots of candy.
Do you talk a lot?: I can.
Are you nervous when you talk to people?: Depends on who.
Do you ever say your someone's friend just to make them feel good?: Definitely not.
Do you ever lie about who your friends are?: I wouldn't sell anyone out like that. I'm proud to call them all my friends.
Do you ever play people as friends to make yourself look good?: No, looking good by comparison is just an added bonus.
[Section 7 - Love]
Do you believe in love?: The jury is still out on this one.
Do you believe in love at first sight?:
What is love?: I don't know, read a Hallmark card.
Have you ever been in love?: I hope not.
Are you now?: No.
Have you ever told someone you loved them?: Yes.
If so, were you telling the truth? If not, would you? This is confusing. At the time it felt like what love is, and I meant it.
Are you married/divorced/neither?: Neither
Are you with someone/single/dating/none?: Single
Do you believe in soulmates?: Not at the moment.
Could you ever fall in love with someone of a different religion?: I don't care about that.
Different ethnicity?: I don't care about that.
Same gender?: No.
Different political views?: I don't care about that.
Do you love certain material possesions?: No.
Certain hobbies?: I enjoy my hobbies,
Your friends?: I feel strongly toward them.
Your family?: I enjoy most of them.
Yourself?: I plan on showing myself how much I like it once I am done with this damn thing.
Do you have a crush?: I don't do "crushes."
Do you date people just because of how they look?: No.
Do you care how people look?: To a degree.
Would you date someone who was sweet even if they weren't good-looking?: Sure
Would you date someone hott even if they were assholes?: Yes, just to hurt them and teach them an ellaborate lesson in the process, because that is the kind of guy I am.
Would you date someone who was nice to you but asshole to others?: No
Would you date someone for their money?: A sugarmomma? Intriguing.
Would you use someone?: No.
Have you used someone?: No.
Have you dated someone just for their money?: No.
Have you ever dated someone who was sweet but weren't good-looking? No.
Have you ever dated someone who was hott even though they were an asshole?: I wouldn't say
"asshole."
Have you ever dated someone who was nice to you but an asshole to others?: I don't think so.
Would you ever date someone because you were desperate?: Nah, I'd rather be alone.
Have you?: No.
Would you ever date someone for sexual reasons?: Well if I was "dating" them, I'm sure it would be more than sexual.
Have you?: No.
Would you ever have an internet bf/gf?: No.
Have you?: No.
[Section 8 - Politics and such]
Are you a democrat?: No.
Or a republican?: No.
Or independent?: Yes.
How do you feel about abortion?: Murder. Taking a life is murder. But an abortion is better for that being than being raised in a family who only kept it because they weren't allowed to have an abortion.
Gay marriage?: Fully support it.
Smoking?: Waste of money, makes you smell bad, makes you unhealthy, but makes you look so damn cool.
Marijuana?: Drug-free since '83.
Drugs?: See above.
Illegal immigrants?: Get them the fuck out of my country. They can come in the legal way and be a fellow legal citizen of this country.
Premarital sex?: I would partake.
Porn?: Love it.
Alcohol?: I enjoy it on occasion.
Racism?: I don't tolerate it.
Whores/prostitution?: Not my bag. At least if it was legal it could be monitored for cleanliness and you would have less crime based around it.
Cloning?: Against it.
Suicide?: The final frontier?
Death penalty?: Strongly support it. If you kill and rape my grandmother you deserve to have the life taken from your body.
Religion in government?: Separate it.
Our president?: I did not vote for him.
Downloading music?: If I can get it off of the radio, is it really stealing?
Burning CDs?: Chicks dig mix-cds.
Welfare?: Too much abuse. Get a fucking job.
Animal testing?: I don't care about the soulless beasts.
Gambling?: I approve it.
School uniforms?: Catholic schoolgirl outfits are hott. Dudes can just turn the jackets inside-out like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
One nation, under God?: Tradition. Keep it. We are a nation founded by mostly Christians and a government established by mostly Deists. Being one step away from being a Social Studies teacher, I understand we have a great assortment of people living in our country, but I say keep the pledge the way it is, for tradtion's sake, and students still have a choice to stand for it or not.
[Section 9 - Religious beliefs]
What religion do you practice?: Independent Christianity Researcher? I read the Bible, other Christian writings, and pray on them. Whatever you want to lump that under.
Have you ever practiced a religion besides the one you practice now?: I tried Atheist, but now I am becoming a theist...get it? Real clever way to end this long ass quiz, right?


Random:

Every answer is either true or a joke...good luck telling them apart.

New Coheed is real good. Check it out.

Taking A Ride

You ever play the boardgame "Chutes and Ladders?" Seems like mostly chutes anymore.

Where to begin? We were robbed Monday night/Tuesday morning. Sometime between 3 and 7. They broke in through a basement window and came into our apartment as we slept. None of my stuff was stolen, but Dan had a bunch of his shit taken. I'm still pissed. I guess the cops are "close" to making an arrest, but I don't believe anything until I see it. Hope is a waste of time and energy, and usually it only sets you up for more of a disappointment. I told my dad about it, and for him not to tell anyone, because I didn't want people worrying about me. So he tells my mom's daughter and now it seems everyone knows. I'm pissed. I don't lie, but made an exception to lie to my mom about this, and she caught me and I felt dumb. There's a lot more to this and I don't feel like writing it out, but it all made me very angry.

Student teaching is going well. The lack of sleep and food, along with being around all of those kids, has gotten me sick. I feel like all I do is go to the school, then either work or make lesson plans. I don't have a social life and I have few people to try and even make one with. I don't even have time for the gym at this point. As far as trying to find a girl, that seems rather futile at this point. Worst case scenario I try and fail, or try, succeed, then have it fail. Best case is I find someone who means a lot to me, then in a few months I'd have to either stay up here, or go back to Endicott and most likely lose them. I guess I should get used to only getting affection from Dan playing with my ear and my manager giving me a "good game" ass smack. I've already gone back to not talking about things that bother me, so that's one less thing I miss about having a girlfriend, even though I always did a lot more listening than talking. Whatever, this is depressing. Maybe I should forget all of my convictions and just fuck a drunk girl. I seem to be a dying breed, maybe I should let myself go extinct. Maybe I should just take a Prozac and get over it.


Now on to something a little more fun. People often comment on or ask me about "what makes you tick?" Or what I think about? Or what goes on in me head? Here I try to shed a little light on it.
First, check out this webpage: www.thepictureofeverything.com

That is similar to what I see when I close my eyes. That or naked women with balloons. Look at that thing. Freakazoid made it!! That's a big part of my head.

Lots of different ideas and things pop into my head at any given moment. For example, today as I was walking around work the following thought popped into my head, "I'd rather be self-deprecating, than self-defecating." Out of nowhere. I don't think that happens to a lot of other people.

When you are talking to me, I look like I am listen, but I'm not. I don't care about anything that comes out of your mouth. I'm just waiting for my turn to speak, so I can say something worthwhile. You bore me.

Hope that helps answer some of your questions about me.



Random:

For anyone who was/is wondering, I'm not really on Prozac.

Coming Clean...

I never battle rapped. I'm sorry to anyone who I convinced on the contrary. It was a joke in which I hoped people would believe me, and it seemed to work, and I got a big laugh out of it. No hard feelings.





Having been tested three times in the last week or so I am completely fine, which makes me happy. I knew I was, but having physically gone through a couple of trials it's good to know I was right all along.





So I gotta try to get a girl. It's hard because now that I am student teaching, that eliminates physically going to the college, which, coincidentally, has many girls my age. There is this one girl at work who is just absolutely gorgeous and I know we at least have a few things in common, but of course our schedules never cross. I decided I'd try and go in when she was working and try to strike up a good conversation (which is not my strong suit when I'm consciously trying to impress someone of the opposite sex). Anyway, I had it all planned out of how, no matter what direction the conversation went in, I could bring it back to where I wanted it to. Well, I go in there yesterday, to buy the Lost DVD (not totally as a cover, as I did want it), and she isn't even working when the schedule said she would be!! Another time I went in there for a similar plan and when I got to the register someone else helped me!! Lastly, this weekend a bunch of the girls at work and the manager who is leaving soon are going to a strip club in Canada. Well they invited me, but of course I have to work! Only me. I decided yesterday to stop actively pursuing this and to see what happens as it is apparent that me trying as I have is not going to do anything. The seeds I tried to plant seem to not have taken...

God, I'm pathetic. Only once have I ever flat out asked someone out, and that was after she "disgustingly" checked me out, so I knew she was into me. The actual relationships I have been in sort of just came to me, leaving me without having ever really needed to ask anyone out. I also lack anything that even remotely resembles confidence. Don't get me wrong, I feel confident about my personality and my ability to make someone else happy and provide for them, etc. I just don't feel good about the way I look (and please, I am not fishing for compliments, so spare me any pity). I'm not going to write out the laundry list of problems I have with the way I look and the reasons why I feel the way I do, but I imagine at least some of the people who read this know at least portions of what I am talking about (and if anyone thinks I am talking about penis size, that's about the one thing I have going for me). I just need to man-up and find a girl who interests me and who I interest. That's also part of the problem, once girls get to know me, I think they start to like me, but I don't have many opportunities to even meet girls, let alone talk to them long enough to get an accurate feel for me once I relax and act completely like myself.

OK, I'm done putting myself out there for today. I really hate talking about stuff like this, as most of you know because I never talked to you about anything like this.





Oh yeah, the whole reason I even went to post today was to say that I am student teaching now, working seven days a week, so if I don't talk to you as much as I used to, that is why. I'll just be busier, not less interested in talking to you.




Random:

I'm a total hypocrite. I hate when people use journals to bitch about their lives. As you may have noticed, I like using this for the more amusing stories and ideas that happen or I think of. But what good is a journal if you don't reflect now and then?