Army Of Zombies!!

Let's share a brain.


First thing's first: Congratulations Matt and Kim.

But seriously Kim, Kimber-ly Lea? Just think about it. I'm just kidding. I'm really happy for you two!


I have two exams down and one more tomorrow. The two I had weren't bad and the one tomorrow shouldn't be either. I can't believe I will be done with my undergrad courses and only have student teaching to do (until Grad school). What a crazy time to be me. I think I will be getting some good grades this semester, so that's good. Summer, here I come!!


I might go to Endicott this Saturday and stay for about a week, then come back up here and move into the new place. Then hopefully we will have the phone in the new place and I can look for a job. I can't wait to get out of here and into the new house. It is going to be awesome.


My birthday is in a couple weeks. Right now it is only tentative, but I think I am going to have people over a week after my birthday (my birthday is May 27th, so aroundJune 4th). So keep that open guys and gals. It'll be cool if it works out and I can get some Endicott people up, and some Buffalo people over. But as I said, it is tentative, and once I know more I will let people know.


I just saw that Killswitch Engage and As I Lay Dying are doing some dates on off days of Ozzzfest. They will be playing Johnson City in July, so I might have to go home to hit that up. Those were pretty much the only two bands I wanted to see on Ozzfest (hence me not shellng out all that money to go), so it's cool that they are doing this and only like 15 minutes from my hometown.


I can't get enough of the Boy Sets Fire's song, "My Life in the Knife Trade." If you go to their website you can listen to about a minute and a half clip of it, but if I was you I'd find a way to get the whole song. It's such an awesome song and when you consider that a hardcore band did it, it'll just blow you away (or not).


Have you guys seen this Dog Bounty Hunter show?! Holy crap is it sweet! I want to be a bounty hunter now, even if Dan and Mindy think I am not tough looking enough to do it. Anyway, it is this family who bounty hunts. It's really cool. Check it out, I think it is on A&E.


It's been a while since I've done one of these, so here you go:

Current Time: 1:46
Current Clothes: Sugar Daddy bottoms, no shirt (settle down ladies and Dan).
Current Mood: Is "Content" a mood?
Current Music: Ska at the moment, it'll never die as long as Dan and I keep listening).
Current Taste: Toothpaste.
Current Hair: Eyebrows and goatee.
Current Annoyance: Since it is hot out I've been keeping my window open and now I have to hear all the idiots outside.
Current Smell: Indian food.
Current thing I ought to be doing: Studying?
Current Favorite Artist: Derek Hess.
Current Favorite Group: Wait, did "artist" mean musical? Whatever, Mustard Plug.
Current Book: I'm taking a break right now as school is ending.
Current CD in CD Player: "Hard Work Mix"
Current DVD In Player: Aquabats Live was the last one in there.
Current Color Of Toenails: Flesh?
Current Refreshment: Cup of water.
Current Crush: I don't do "crushes"
Current Favorite Celebrity: Oh man, Conan I guess.

LAST PERSON...
You Touched: Dan.
You Hugged: I think I hugged Dan yesterday.
You Yelled At: Matt for leaving a pen in my room. That sort of behavior is simply unacceptable.
You Had A Crush On: Didn't you just ask me that?!?!
Who Broke Your Heart?: Moving on...

FAVORITE...
Food: Pizza?
Drink: Water.
Color: Black and Blue.
Album: Oh come on!! Just one?! MxPx "Life in General" has probably gotten the most spins from me. Followed closely by Blink's "Dude Ranch" and Green Day's "Dookie"
Shoes: Skater shoes or whatever they are called.
Candy: Currently, lollipops.
Movie: This is Spinal Tap.
Song: Green Day "Basketcase" changed my life.
Vegetable: Peppers?
Fruit: Mango? These change so often.

ARE YOU...
Understanding: Yes.
Open-minded: Yes.
Arrogant: No. I think I am way too humble.
Insecure: Yes.
Interesting: Very.
Hungry: Always...oh, that said "hungry" I thought it said "horny." I'm usually at least a little hungry.
Friendly: To my friends. The rest of the world can go fuck itself.
Smart: It's been said.
Moody: Depends on who you ask. I think I'm pretty consistent.
Childish: I'm definitely a boy trapped in a man's body, but I wouldn't say I am "Childish."
Independent: Definitely.
Hard working: Definitely.
Organized: Yes.
Healthy: My doctor says so. I'm still getting healthier.
Emotionally Stable: Is anyone really?
Shy: Yes.
Difficult: I'm sure I can be.
Attractive: I'd do me.
Bored Easily: I can be, but I can entertain myself for long periods of time.
Messy: I don't think so.
Thirsty: No, I have that water.
Responsible: Definitely. Too much really.
Obsessed: O.C.D. baby!
Angry: Yes.
Sad: Sure. I'm sad school is ending, which seems weird.
Happy: Wicked happy. Moving in with Matt and Dan, and Kim for the summer, is going to be awesome in our new place.
Trusting: I have trouble trusting people, but there are still a good amount of people I do trust.
Ill: No.
Talkative: Yes.
Original: No one can be original anymore. It's all been done before.
Ignored: I refuse to be ignored.
Reliable: Definitely and I think anyone who knows me well enough would agree.
Content: Yes!
Optimistic: No, realistic.
Deep thinker: Defintiely.
Self-disciplined: Definitely.
Sleepy: Not at the moment.
Lonely: Moving on...

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
Kill: How much time ya got?
Punch: I don't want to punch anyone. I'm a defensive guy.
Look Like: Chad Gilbert.
Be Like: I like being like me.
Talk To: Conan O'Brien.
Talk to Online: My friends? That's sort of a weird one.

I see: My room.
I need: To get a life.
I want: Money and power.
I have: No money or power.
I wish: I had a time machine.
I love: Nothing. Love is just a feeling of connectedness. Hopefully you will end up feeling connected to people who are good for you.
I hate: Too much.
I miss: I'll miss Cool Tom when he goes to Korea...I hope they have the internet there and I can still talk to him on some sort of regular basis.
I fear: Death. I am definitely one of those kinds of people.
I smell: Indian food!!
I crave: Knowledge.
I wonder: About everything.
I regret: A lot.

When was the last time you ...
Smiled?: Last night after some laughing at Conan I'm sure I smiled.
Laughed?: Last night.
Cried?: About a month or so ago. I'm more of a thrower upper than a crier (yeah, I'm good like that).
Bought something?: Last night, Subway.
Were sarcastic?: Always.
Kissed someone?: Last Friday.
Talked to an ex?: Actually, it seems to have worked out that I don't.
Watched your favorite movie?: About a month ago.
Had a nightmare?: No idea.

A Last time for everything.......
Last book you read: "The Struggle for Black Equality"
Last movie you saw: Heartbreakers on tv. It's actually pretty funny and you get to stare at Jennifer Love Hewitt, which I love doing very much.
Last song you heard: Right now, Kansas, "Dust in the Wind"
Last thing you had to drink: Water.
Last time you showered: Last night.
Last thing you ate: Cereal.

Do You...
Smoke?: No.
Do drugs?: No.
Have sex?: Define "have."
Sleep with stuffed animals?: Um, no.
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope, definitely taking a break from anything serious.
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Not the same dream, but the same themese. Like where I hang out with Chad or writing for the Simpsons. (Don't judge me)
Play an instrument?: Skin flute.
Believe there is life on other planets?: Definitely. Look up at all the stars, each on is a sun like ours. You are going to tell me that there isn't some sort of life on one of those planets?
Read the newspaper?: Not really.
Have any gay or lesbian friends? Yes.
Believe in miracles?: No.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes, because I will be, so it is possible.
Consider love a mistake?: Not a mistake, non-existant.
Have a favorite candy?: Do I need to answer this again?
Believe in astrology?: No!! And anyone who does is an idiot.
Believe in magic?: No.
Believe in God?: I think so.
Pray?: Not so much anymore.
Go to church?: No.
Have any secrets?: Nope. I'm an open book.
Have any pets?: Definitely not.
Do well in school?: I think so.
Go to or plan to go to college?: Go to.
Have any piercings?: One.
Have any tattoos?: Nope.
Hate yourself?: No.
Have an obsession?: I used to be obsessed with doing what was "right." I don't know how I feel about that right now.
Have a secret crush?: No!! What the hell?!?! Crushes are dumb. Do I like people? Do I find anyone attractive? Sure. But I don't "crush" on someone!!
Collect anything? Not really. I buy a lot of CDs and PEZ dispensers that I like, but no official collecting.
Wish on stars?: No, what's the point?
Like your handwriting?: I do, most others do not.
Care about looks: On some level.
Believe in witches?: No.
Believe in Satan?: Sure.
Believe in ghosts?: Nope.

Random:

The new Hurt Process album came out in England already, but not here until May 30th...sad face.

Also, I'll probably be in Endicott when Star Wars opens so Endicott people let's make it happen and go see it!!!! We can even wear the Jedi robes I made.

What Do Germans Use As Birth Control?

Their personality!! Booyah!!


Here's a good story:

So this past Thursday was my last day of class and a lot of us decided to go out, but with everyone's conflicting schedules there was only a core group that I actually went out with. Erik Thor Hecker (who will from now on only be referred to as "Thor" or "God of Thunder") came over to do a little pregaming with Dan and me. He brought some Mexican beer for Cinco de Mayo. It was called "Cerveza Pacifico Clara" which translates into "Clear Pacifico Beer." Now I just need to figure out what the hell "Pacifico" means!! Anyway, we knew it would be good because it cost about 10 bucks for a 6-pack and was covered in dust. After I cut my hand trying to open it, I realized it wasn't a twist-off top. Good times. Then Dan and Thor made fun of me or proved me wrong or something like that, and gave each other "knucks." No "knucks" should ever be given at my expense (knucks - the hitting of two sets of knuckles provided by two separate individuals in celebration of some event). The three of us got a little loose and headed over to Coles to meet up with some people for dinner. We met with mine/our friends Audrey and C.T., along with Dave and Brandy who I don't know as well. It was a really good dinner. I got the "Black and Blue Burger" which was a good amount of beef covered in blue cheese and pepper. It was like an orgasm in my mouth...not like someone was having an orgasm in my mouth, but my mouth was the one doing the orgasming. Dan and Thor used peer pressure to get me to buy some beer called "Dos" something or other...I was disappointed when I ordered it and only one came out!! Then they made fun of me for always drinking Labatt Light and how I should "try new things." Fuck that. I tried "Dos" and it was good, but nothing great, I was done with Spanish named beer for the evening at this point.

Anyway, at dinner I was able to pitch my "Single and Shy" shirt idea and people seemed to like it, espically with the addition that the shirts are reversible and the inside says "Spoken For." See this way, when the shirts work out as well as I plan that they will, you won't need a whole new wardrobe, but can just flip the shirt inside-out. Anway, Brandy said how she saw a shirt that said "Single, Shy, and Hung Like a Horse" (something like that anyway) and I said that my shirt is for those of us who don't quite fit that whole description. I then proceeded to make masturbation jokes and other typical dinner conversation and Dave said to me, "you know Kyle, if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out, you really should get into comedy." The whole time he was saying this, Dan was just shaking his head and saying "don'tencourage him." See, Dan doesn't like it when people build me up, but only when they tear me down. But you know what? I still love him, with all my heart and sexual genetalia.

After dinner Dan, Thor and I went back to our apartment to drink some more store bought (read: "cheaper than a bar") beer. That is one of the perks of living right next to a bar. We then got into an hour long conversation about comic books (don't judge us). Dan was waiting for Mindy to come over, so Thor and I decided to head back to the bar. C.T. was playing darts with some dudes he didn't know and Audrey was talking to some dude she knew from high school outside when we got back. The four of us then regrouped and drank some more. Then we decided to play darts. C.T. and I kicked Audrey and Thor's asses. Then they bought us drinks. It was awesome. You don't want to play Stylez D. Wolf in darts, especially at Coles. They demanded a rematch and we kicked their asses even worse the second time.

It was around this point that we decided to go up to my apartment and play some cards. I mentioned sobering up, but then it was made very clear to me that no one wanted to play those kinds of cards and that we were going to play "Asshole." Ok, sounds good. I hadn't played in a long time, since Cool Tom was here actually, so I needed a refresher. But before I get too far ahead of myself, I need to discuss how we even got to the card game. We came in and Dan was still waiting for Mindy, so I figured the four of us could just play on my bed while Dan waited for her. Then Dan told me that we were all going to play in his room. "Great," I said. We brought chairs in there and I brought a couple bins to use as a table. Well, C.T. wasn't having that (I should point out that at this point he is already hammered). The rest of us are in Dan's room, setting up and C.T. is in the kitchen doing something and making a lot of noise. All of a sudden he comes in with the kitchen table, which had been covered in a bunch of crap. About 15 minutes later Dan smelled something burning and he goes into the kitchen and sees that the toaster over is on the floor (surrounded by paper), turned on and burning crumbs. Thankfully Dan stopped what could have been a monsterous fire. I go out to see what it looked like and C.T. went Tazmanian Devil on our kitchen. It was crazy. Anyway, we started playing and continued until it was hard to drink anymore beer. C.T. wanted me to go buy more beer, so I did and we didn't even use it, so now I have an extra 12 pack of beer here. Maybe I'll use it this coming Thursday after my last exam when we probably will go out again. Anyway, I gave C.T. my He-Man blanket and a pillow and he passed out on the kitchen floor. He slept in the fetal position. It was funny to see him in a "kids" blanket all curled up. Then Mindy came over and I acted like her, Dan and I were going to have a threeway--she didn't seem amused. Then the rest of us went to bed too. I had a hard time sleeping and at like 10 in the morning (keep in mind I got to bed around 4:30 or so and didin't sleep for a half an hour straight all night) C.T. walks into my room, still drunk, and throws my blanket and pillow on me waking me up!! I told him to just leave when he woke up, but he insisted on saying "good-bye" which I guess was nice, but sleep would have been nicer. Crazy stuff man.


Friday and Saturday I stayed in and did school work, cleaned the apartment up and just relaxed. It was nice. Today Dan and I took back our bottles. We got over 10 bucks for them. Pretty awesome. Tonight there are some new episodes of the Simpsons and Family Guy. Should be awesome.


Oh yeah, during the day on last Tuesday my African American History Professor asked to talk to me after class about an essay I wrote for a different class. The topic I choose for this other class was the Niagara Movement which was the first real Civil Rights group. Well, when I told him about it a while ago he said I could sumbit it for this essay contest (which I thought was through Buff State but is actually some Washington D.C. thing, so this is pretty big). Anyway, when I got to his office he told me the essay was "brilliant." He actually used the word. It wasn't "good" or "well-written" it was "brilliant." It really made my week hearing that. So anway, I'll submit that later in May and hopefully I'll be a winner for that scholarship money.


Things I want to buy in the near future:
Glory of This CD
It Dies Today CD
Kane Hodder CD/DVD
A full length mirror for my new room in the new house. (Don't ask)

I'll probably wait until I'm in my new place to buy any of that stuff though.

Last night I had a dream that I was dating a porn star. I knew she was a porn star, but she didn't know that I knew it. It was like that movie "The Girl Next Door" except nothing like that at all. It was awesome.

Today is Mother's Day. Make sure you thank her for getting it on with your dad.

Random:

"I am sure asexual organism bump into other things all of the time. Who is to say what is asexually appropriate in terms of randomly bumping?"

So I Got That Going For Me

Life is good:

I haven't had a phone in weeks, which is totally awesome. I need to talk to my dad about a bunch of important things, but can't. Our bathroom light switch is busted but I can't call the landlord (it'll be interesting if I need to shave before it gets fixed). I need to get a job but I don't want to sumbit applications when hopeful employers can't call me for interviews. If I got up the nerve to ask a girl out, what am I supposed to tell her in terms of reaching me? That'll look real good. "I can't call you and you can't call me...also, I can't pick you up if it rains because my car's windshield wipers are busted." Yeah, like I don't have enough strikes against me already.

I love being me.

I have one paper left to go, which I will do tonight. Then I have three more days of classes. One take-home test and three in-class tests. Then it will be summer and I can nuts. (I don't know what that means exactly).

Today at the gym I thought this girl was checking me out...then I realized she was just looking at the TV behind me. Pretty awesome.

Last Thursday Matt, Dan and I went to this Guido Feinberg bar downtown. It was supposed to be a "sports bar" but it was definitely just a trendy ass place so we left after a beer each (although this place has a comedy cub attached to it, so I will go back to check that out). Then the three of us hit up Hollywood Video (one of the places I am going to apply to) and rented Caddyshack. Then we got some beer and made a big gay night of it. How gay? Let's just say that Matt is the last person to have touched my dick (there was a layer of boxers and denim between is actual hand and my actual wiener, just so you know). The three of us probably shouldn't drink together because something like that always seems to happen.

Friday Dan had a date...with a girl!! Matt and I went to Greg's apartment, which is really nice. We hung out, drank some beers, and watched a lot of that show "Amazing Shozan" or something like that. It's pretty damn hilarious. It was a good time.

Saturday I stayed in and did homework. Ok, I didn't do any homework, I just stayed in. Happy?

Last night was awesome. Two new Simpsons, both hilarious. The new Family Guy season started. It was funny. I really liked the beginning where Peter listed off all the cancelled Fox shows that came out after Family Guy went off the air. Real funny. I tried giving American Dad a second chance, but it didn't deserve it. It was bad. The show is no good. It does not get my stamp of approval. Do not watch it. It is not funny. Spend your time doing something else.
A new Robot Chicken was on too. Good show. Funny and nostalgic.

Did you see the Pope left me a comment on my last update?! Pretty neat.

Tom and I initially chalked up our luck with the ladies to back hair...now we think it may be bad jokes. I'm not really sure. Discuss.

I got three new PEZ dispensers: Darth Vader, R2-D2, and the updated Chewbacca. Very kick ass.

I'm thinking of making a whole new wardrobe. I need roughly 14 t-shirts. No logos and an assortment of colors. Then I need a whole bunch of iron-on letters. Then I need an iron. I will then make shirts that say "Single and Shy." This way if a girl is liking what she is seeing, she'll know where I'm at. Then she can make the first move. Now I know what you are thinking. "Kyle this is pathetic...even for you." Well, that may be true, but if the "Single and Shy" shirt fits, wear it.

Tomorrow and Thursday a lot of Social Studies people are going out to Coles. I'm not sure if I'm going tomorrow but I'll definitely be out Thursday. The only bad thing about that is that it will be Cinco De Mayo, so a lot of douchebags will probably be out too.

Random:

Here is a paraphrased extraction from a conversation Cool Tom and I had last night:

Tom: My sex life is like a game of Clue. Who did it? In what room? With what weapon?

Kyle: My sex life is like a game of solitaire.

Other possible punchlines I could have given:

My sex life is like a game of Chess...I've never been very good at Chess.
My sex life is like a game of Sorry...no real explanation needed.
My sex life is like a game of Monopoly...I always get screwed in the end.

I'm glad I went with the solitaire one...these ones are duds.