More Badass Updates (And Not So Badass Things)

So in posse news, we have 4 new members!! That's right, 4 new members, bitch.

Coming in at 5' 11" of pure power, Matt "the Leanis" Lea:
Matt has had a butcher knife thrown at him, and lived!
Matt almost killed his brother once.
He has some piercings and a tattoo of a star!
Matt tells off old people.
He is our secret weapon at this Fall's bake-sale.
Matt dislocated his shoulder and didn't get it fixed for 24 hours. (That's badass)
Matt sometimes listens to hardcore music, even though he is hardcore all the time.
Matt participated in Edward 40-hands.
I once watched Matt drink almost an entire bottle of rum...
Fun Fact: Matt once fell off our elementary school playground "ship" and split his head open. To this day he thinks it was his sister who fell, not him...poor guy.


Greg "G-Money" Frey "Guy"
Greg stands tough with a shaved head.
Greg is a Pimp (note the capital P!)
He is a very good trampoline wrestler.
Greg listens to gangsta rap a lot. Thatz streetz.
He lifts such heavy weights that he hurt his shoulder. Have you ever done that? Didn't think so wussy.
Greg wears jeans.
Greg is very, very good at swinging a baseball bat and knocking opposing posse member's heads off. I've played baseball with him before.
Greg wants to sell drugs for a living. Legal or not, that is badass.
He also participated in Edward 40-hands.
Greg can beat anyone at Mario Party 1 through 16 (most of these are only available in Japan).
Fun Fact: I was one of the men who first shaved Greg's head.

Now here is the biggest news: We are expanding to the entire East Coast! Here are our first two non-New York men:

Jamie Carroll
Don't let the two feminine sounding names fool you, Jamie's heard it his whole life and anyone who brings it up usually ends up 6 feet under.
Jamie stands tough at 6 foot even. Nothing more, nothing less.
His weight can be anywhere from 200 and 215 pounds.
He can bench 225 pounds eight times in a row.
Jamie has a badass scar where his arm meets his torso.
Once in a fight, Jamie grabbed a dudes nuts so hard it made him vomit.
His Kung Fu like grip is so tight he can take lugnuts off a car.
Jamie brought a ho to the stable.
Jamie is representing our posse in South Carolina. The big SC!
Fun Fact: Jamie is confident that he can kick your wussy ass!
Jamie projects strength.


Kevin "The Original K-Dog" Hogan
Kevin's other official nickname is "Colossus." Named after the X-Men character. Yeah that's right.
Kevin stands tough, projecting strength at 6 feet and 7 inches!!!
He used to live in the tough city of Binghamton, now lives in the tough city of Tampa, Florida.
Kevin was once jumped by 8 dudes and beat all their asses singlehandedly. Well actually he used both his hands.
Kevin wears a studded belt.
He has a visible scar under his eyebrow, and one on each cheek. They may be hard to see, but they are there!
Kevin auditioned to be in Hanson, but was denied, so he cut his long hair and went to the gym.
Fun Fact: Best painter I've ever met. He actually taught me. Now we "tag" buildings.


In related posse news, my passenger side rear car window was smashed in and 50 cents was taken out of the arm rest. I'm fairly confident it was a rival posse, keep your eyes open.

(This is usually where I would rant about this, but I acknowledge the fact that the FUCKING PUSSY WHO FUCKING BROKE MY WINDOW IS TOO FUCKING IGNORANT TO HAVE EVER LEARNED TO READ. THAT IS WHY HE, OR SHE, IS BREAKING INTO PEOPLE'S FUCKING CARS. THIS BEING SAID, THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO READ A FUCKING WORD OF THIS. I JUST HOPE THAT THE 50 CENTS WAS WORTH YOUR TICKET PRICE TO AN ETERNITY OF HELL YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. MAY YOUR OWN MOTHER CONTRACT AIDS AND DIE, AND ON HER DEATH BED MAY SHE TELL YOU THAT YOU WERE ADOPTED BECAUSE YOUR REAL MOM SOLD YOU FOR CRACK AND NO ONE EVER REALLY LOVED YOU A DAY IN YOUR MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE. I HOPE EVERYTHING YOU EVER LOVE IN LIFE IS KILLED IN FRONT OF YOUR VERY OWN FUCKING EYES! Ahhhhhhhh, much better)
Note-Our posse car customizer specicalist said he'd help me fix my window this weekend.


In not so angry news, I bought Smash Bros Melee and it is a really fun game.

I also got pretty far ahead in my school work, which is good.

On Friday Greg came over and we went to Comix Cafe with Mary, Randi, Becky and a bunch of her friends. The comedians were funny. The first guy was a fat Dennis Leary and the headliner was a vulgar prop comic. Good times. There was also a magician who did all sorts of kickass things for our table. Ask me about it sometime if you want to hear about all the cool stuff he did.


Random:

Emery Tuesday at the skatepark on Hertel. 10 bucks at the door for them, brazil , name taken and a few more.

Also, new Beloved video check out their site for a link to it: www.belovedrock.com . It's my favorite song of their's "death to traitors."

2004 Cranium Champion Report:

So this weekend presented itself with a great deal of ass kicking. Friday night Mary and I went to her parent's house where here sister (Tara) and brother-in-law (Jamie) came to visit. We went out to dinner that night and I ate this really good hot sauce marinated chicken with crumbly blue cheese and salad/soup bar. Good stuff. That night I came back to Buffalo to work at the Museum one last time and also to get Green Day tickets (more on that later). Then I went back to Mary's parents where I got my ass handed to me in darts. Then there was a nice birthday party for Tara where I got to eat among other delicious things, deviled eggs, which I absolutely love. Then that night Jamie and I destroyed the opposition in Cranium. I mean just utterly destroyed them. I think I saw tears shed. On Sunday I went grocery shopping and that is about the highlight of that day.

Monday and today I did a ton of school work and reading. It was hella lame.

Today I also went and bought the original Star Wars on DVD, the new Green Day cd, a Jerry Seinfeld comedy special, and some wart remover (freeze off). The new Green Day is amazing. absolutely amazing. It is a punk rock opera. Think Tommy, but Green Day. Also, I used that wart freeze off and the instructions said it would hurt for 24 hours and all this crap, well, it didn't hurt me at all. I think my badassness is increasing!

I saw some pictures from the new Fantastic Four movie. Looking good.


In posse news: Look for some incredible new members coming soon. I'll give you a hint, it looks like our posse is going to take over the entire East Coast.


So I am in line for Green Day tickets and these three "punk" girls are in line in front of me, along with some Lion King ticket hopefuls and they were annoying the hell out of me. I hope they drove off a bridge and died on the way home. But anyway, I got the tickets for Dan, Matt, Kris and I.

Random:

I find myself again wanting to either be an eight foot wookie or a Jedi....so conflicted. Can wookies be Jedis? Because that would be the ultimate.

Posse Update

On to business:
Jim Switzer joined the posse.
He is sarcastic, has a visible scar, cracks his knuckles, back and neck, he stands tall, has facial hair, eats beef jerky and brought a ho into the ho stable.
He also added the fact that when standing tough, holding a bat, chain, or tire iron is even more badass.
Quote: "I think I was born for this posse"

Ryan from E.T.S. has joined the posse.
He fills the tall, goofy role for me, so he is obviously important to our posse.
He also can make tacos and is used to being bossed around by Dan.
Ryan also looks tough in a baseball cap.

Cool Tom has joined the posse.
He is 6'3" and 240. He's a big man with a big/badass heart.
At first I was threatened to have another 6'3" tall guy in the posse, but I got over it. Other people can be as tall as me.
Tom works at a bar. Bars are tough, well biker bars are.
Fun Fact: When Tom gets drunk he asks people to punch him in the face.
Also taped 40s to his hands for our Edward Fortyhands night.
Tom is also in the process of getting a half sleeve tattoo on his right arm.
Quote: "I know a handful of black people too, so 'I'm down.'"
Lastly, Tom stands tough.


Damn, we are entering uncharted levels of badassdom! Our posse is shaping up nicely.

Matt also gave me advice on being badass: neck tattoos are badass.

In related posse news: Dan and I were walking to the bank and he had flip flops on. Well we met up with a rival posse. They had three guys and a ho. Well they were looking tough, then we looked even tougher at them, then they saw Dan's flip flops and we lost the tough contest. Needless to say, our posse learned that flip flops are not tough.


In non-posse news:

Don't hate me, cuz you can't date me!

I took Mary to see Garden State over the weekend. She liked it and I thought it was good with a second viewing.

*Note: If you are my girlfriend or someone who has loyalty to her over me, please stop reading and hit "back" in your web browser*

Damn, how hot is Natalie Portman in Garden State?


Random:

Mary is going to kill me for that, but I'm badass, so she can bring it.

Badass

Alright, so here's the deal: Dan and I are trying to be more badass and we seem to need some help to become so. We already know that being spies is badass because they blow shit up and sleep with lots of beautiful women. We also know that if we wear spiked leather accessories we'd be more badass too. We just have to be careful not to look goth.

Here's where you come in, we need some help. First we need help with suggestions on what we can do to become American Badasses like Kid Rock (who now that I think about it isn't really badass, but has stuck it to Pam Anderson). So if you can throw some suggestions our way, we'd greatly appreciate it (do badasses say "greatly appreciate"?).

The second way you can help is to join our posse. Yes, an actual posse. This was all Dan's idea and the second I heard it I knew I had to join. Basically, we want to walk down the street and strike fear into passerbyers (lose saying passerbyers? Ok). Anyway, here is a list of criteria that you have to meet to be in our posse:
-Have to be male. Although ladies, our posse will have what I like to call a "ho stable" which you can join. I'm sure you can figure out what that is. To apply, just IM me or randomly stop on over some night for a hands on interview.
-Have to be 13 or older. Sorry, no pre-teens.
-Have to look tough.
-Have to be willing to take a bullet for Dan and I, and yes, we do plan on being active members in the gun fighting community, because that is what badass posses do.
-You have to watch Punisher and realize that is what we are striving for. After I write this I'm going to go get it, so maybe our posse will have a movie sleepover night with popcorn and we will study it.
-When standing still, arms must either be crossed or both arms reaching down your front grabbing a belt buckle. This pose will make our posse look tough.
-On that topic, no smiling. Smiling is not tough. If you smile even once, you're out!!
-Visible scars are a plus, but not required.
-You have to crack your knuckles. Neck and other body parts are a plus too.
-Lastly, you have to be able to throw out insults with the best of them. When our posse is about to fight another posse (and kick their asses) we want to diss them real bad. Insults about mom's are a encouraged.

So, if you can help Dan and I with either suggestions or you wanting to join our posse, please IM me. Also, for further information, Dan's blog has some additonal thoughts http://szweda.blogspot.com . As people join the posse and give us information on being more badass, I will make updates. Also, females in our ho stable will not be published online. Thank you for your time (that probably wasn't a badass way to end it, was it?)


Emery's song "walls" is amazing. Go here for the video:
http://www.toothandnail.com/mediasort.php?type=videos



So I was walking home from school on Wednesday, and I was behind this girl who was pretty heavy and all around nasty (and no, I am not saying all heavy people are nasty or all nasty people are heavy, she just happened to be both) and she had a pair of sweatpants on that said "stop staring" on the butt. I don't know if she was trying to be ironic, but nobody, and I mean nobody was checking that out. Ewwww, I get shivers just thinking about it.

Random:

Eggplant.

So It's Come to This...

So, ummm, Ujournal is just not there anymore, so I copied Dan and made a new one here. I'm mad because I lost all of those posts from Ujournal and I liked going back and reading them every once in a while. But anyway, ''here's to new beginnings".

So here are some highlights from this summer:
Events:

-Warped Tour (except for the car ride home). Coheed and Cambria, New Found Glory and Clearmotive were probably my favorites to see. Sugarcult, Yellowcard and Avenged Sevenfold were all very good as well. I also got a free comp with an acoustic version of Yellowcard's "Way Away" , Emery, The F-Ups, and a bunch other good songs
-Mary's sister's wedding. This was an all around fun long weekend. When I got to Buffalo on a Thursday night I was greeted with pizza. The next day Mary and I went to mini-golf (instead of going to the casino in which everyone else who went there won money) and that was fun too. Then that night we had the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. The dinner was a really good buffet and we could order any alcohol we wanted. I tried this Old Slugger beer that is brewed in Cooperstown (go figure). The next day was the wedding itself. A lot of pictures were taken beforehand and afterward. I ushered people in before the wedding and got some of the communion items during the wedding. After the wedding we got on a trolley and drank a ton and took more pictures at a park. Then we got to the reception and were introduced to some music from Star Wars, which was totally badass! That was also a lot of fun.
-Matt and Kim arguing the entire trip to Ithaca where we went to see Napolean Dynamite . I guess an hour long yell-fest over a right or left turn is called for. Anyway, the movie was awesome and you should all see it.
-Hanging out with the Hontz boys.
-Going to wing nights.
-DD which actually stands for "Drunk Derek" because he was NEVER the designated driver.
-Being asked if I had "some, ya know *sniff, sniff*, ya know...blow" at the Warped Tour. Do I look like a scumbag?
-Working at SUNY Binghamton had its moments of fun. Like my boss being a total failure at life and admitting it to me once, amongst his constant denial of it.

Movie Purchases:
-What About Bob?
-Airplane
-National Lampoon's Vacation
-The Shining

Music:
-Warped Tour
-Beloved in Syracuse with Matt was awesome, even with the giant bruise I got on my leg from the table falling on me. Glass Casket is a badass metalcore band, in case you are into that.
-Hawthorne Heights CD which is Ohio amazing
-Hurt Process CD which is England amazing
-Hazen Street which is hardcore legends making a hip hopish album amazing

Simpsons Season 4 DVD:
-Simpsons Season 4 DVd which has some awesome commentary, like Jon Lovitz and the best one yet, Conan O'brien on Marge vs. the Monorail where he goes off on old people

Best Person:
Jay London



School Stuff:
-Hanging with Dan
-When Greg and I hung out and he kicked my ass in darts
-Mary and I having our 2nd year anniversary
-Buying a GameCube
-Classes are going well
-Ken Jennings is back


Random:

This one's for Matt: "Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt."

Seriously dude, think about it.



Punisher came out today!!!